What is love? The most used cliche in human history.
The lights keep fading, i keep running towards them. Whats happening, its really hard to tell, especially under the influence of loneliness and an ambiguity about your own self beliefs and the fact that the way you look at others is constantly under the microscope. Maybe not the later one but definitely the former one.

            Ive been living a life which has adapted itself to an acceptance of any measures. Things have been blown out f proportions and thus my proportions have increased. There was a that lack of love i could feel, that void in my life. But, in my humble opinion, God has been too too kind towards. Not only did he not provide me the valium, but also he gave me strength to grow up and live without its need. But who would have thought, my life would be intertwined with an addict?

           Is there a life after death, because there's definitely not one before it. its just the watch that youre looking at and waiting for its hands to acquire a position many years down the line, many years if youre lucky and have good eating habbits, that may prove to be your last look at a clock ever. funny?

          Do i sound suicidal? to whom is actually the question. No One... is the answer. Exactly. Theres no one.

feel

i feel chained to the ground im on
the air that i breathe doesnt fill my lungs
i cant sit on this chair anymore
my feet constantly want to run

my eyes dont rest even in the night
my mind doesnt let me sleep
as i grow up to live another day
i grow up to grow weak

my thoughts wander around in space
aimless they kill and die
there is no single hint to the answers
of my what how and why?

lost in the realms of peoplehood around me
i seek a pattern of life
i look for that look in the eyes
and look for a faint smile

what is it that makes these people
too tense to be easy
what is it except his son that
keeps a father busy

what is it that makes a man
want more and more
and more and more and still
cant get what he's looking for

i walk the roads. from place to place
to shake the outstretched hands
to meet and greet the people i meet
who have travelled new lands

ive heard from them, who say that men
who travel a lot are wiser
but instead i met a keeper, a liar,
a crook and a miser

maybe im wrong, maybe that is the way
maybe they all are right
maybe i dont even need to think about it
maybe dont even write

but then again i feel chained
i feel the pain when i think
i feel the world closing in
as i scribble my ink

maybe i need to be 10 again
and usher myself into the ground
swinging. singing, playing in the mud
messing the world around!

maybe my age is far too much
for my mind to seek some sense
maybe the time is not right for
me to stand up and breathe, hence...

i feel chained to the ground im on,
the air doesnt fill my lungs

the age of my love

what if you were to live forever

and i to die tomorrow

what if u were to be happy

and i were to c sorrow

what if there was no word such as if

what if u could be

what if i could not

but u could c

what if there was no thing such as pain

wat would i feel

what would i tell u

and how would it heal

what if i say id believe u

even if u lie

what if i take ur place

just before u die

what if the stories are true

about happily ever after

would that make u c

the pain behind my laughter

what if i set u free

2 let u what u want to be

and then u become

sumthing that i dont want to see

what if i let u go

to the place u think u deserve

would u miss me there

is sumthing that i want to observe

what if i give u wings to fly

would u go far too high

what if i give u the life u abandoned for me

let u live independent of me

what if i forget all the words that u once said

would the soul of those moments be dead

i wonder about the plight of that time

when the dusks saw ur hand in mine

what if all ur poems were just air

with oxygen sucked out of it

what if im still breathing

knowing that il run out of it

and then with all these questions close my eyes

thinking only about u

and sleep never to wake up again

cuz its getting tough without u

what if u were to live forever

cuz u are never enough

and i were to die tomorrow

and give u the age of my love